Come on, raise your hands! We are all guilty of replaying events in our lives.
Now, mind you, some events are significant to replay as often as we want. They bring us joy, lift us up when we are struggling, and heck, we all desire more feel-good moments in our day. How about the day you graduated college, obtained the job of a lifetime, or the day you got married–that is if you are married.
There are replays we want to watch, talk about, to help us learn from. Basketball or football players review games to determine what to improve in their game. We can do the same when we replay a discussion, an action, or a reaction to a situation. We want to grow, and what better way than to take the time to re-examine the situation. You see this often in the New Testament, replaying events from the Old Testament. Looking at what went right, and, what went wrong; in both cases, the intention is to show us we can learn from the past.
Keep in mind, do not replay your events so much that they become harmful to you, to your mental game, to your confidence, and ability to move on. happened, review what happen, identify the changes you need to make, apply those changes, and then pack-up the event and file it away to File 13. (Wonder how many of you got that?)
Then there are replays we should leave alone, not even consider looking at or listen to. Every time we do, it causes emotional and physical pain. They need to go directly to File 13.
The question is “how do you help a friend or loved one to stop replaying situations? You know the replays do more harm than good. You see the harm it is doing to them. It is even hurting you as you have to hear the replay–there’s a physical pain for yourself as your watch what that replay is doing. From personal experience, gently encourage the person to stop talking about the event. Share why it is harmful to continually replay the event, how doing so has negatively affected you. (Be honest, we all have been harmed by replaying too much). Pray for them, whether they share your faith or not; they do not have to even know.